You heard her story, you see her countenance, but you don't know the inner truth. Her views, her say, she limits it all 'cos there's always secrets to life.

Sunday, January 20, 2013

Just Not The Kind

I'm not the kind of girl who will watch scary movies in theaters and expect a guy to be sitting next to me so that I can cuddle him when I freak out. Cos I'm just not a scary cat like that. But I like to sit in my couch or maybe lie on the bed and watch a movie, any movie with the one that I love. Laugh out loud, cry, eating tacos on bed and just do a movie marathon. I always wanted to experience that but because my feelings, my believe in love just doesn't seem to be visible anymore. I just don't trust people that easily. I don't have the most faith in relationship. Cos I've been there. I mean I'm pretty sure a lot of us have been there once, twice or God knows how many times. But people lied and they misrepresent themselves and put each other down. So tell me, where can I ever find that faith in love again? I don't want to do this anymore. I don't want to hesitate and feel doubtful of myself every single time a guy approaches me. I hate it actually. Cos my heart will always tell me not to give in myself to them cos I know eventually I'm the one who will get hurt. I know, I said "I'm sick of getting hurt" again and again but it's true. I'm clueless myself for the fact that I don't even know what my heart and my brain or maybe my fate is telling me. I'm always in total bewilderment.

Well, I believe Camel just got a new bf. She's 21 so let her be. But hey, what will Mama and Abah think of me? I mean they expect us to get a bf and introduce to them. I always back off and say, "Oh no Mama. Not so soon." I just feel that I need a place right now where I can focus on myself. That being said, it doesn't mean I will stop liking people or love people. "I just need to feel okay with being alone first." As quoted by Miss Demetria Devonne Lovato. I hope I can keep up to what I want.

Oh, anyway, I was accepted by Jet Quay! And yes, I will be working in the airport. So excited for 18th March. Pray for me that my internship will go smoothly. Insya'allah. :)


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