No matter how well you do, that number just won't go up. Too bad for doing so so so badly during 2.1.
Okay. I'm sorry. I feel like I should rant and i wish i could just call someone i know and just share them this news.
I've just got my results, or maybe already gotten it like an hour ago through the SMS service. Took a few seconds for me to actually dare myself to look at the SMS. ANd when I did, I just couldn't stop smiling and thanking Allah for everything. Yes, I did pretty well, Alhamdullilah. Got 2 B, 2 A and a distinction. Who wouldn't be happy if they got a distinction for their exam! Well my expectations are not that high, i mean not even for ANY exams. But i'm proud of myself for working darn hard on this. I really want to pull up my GPA because I FAILED my accounting exam last sem which was really really disgraceful, upsetting, demoralizing and all the pessimistic words that you can think of.
The first day when I step into TP, I told myself that I need at least a 3.5. But look at where i've gotten now.
Oh wait, I haven't mention that the SMS didn't state neither the CGPA/ GPA. So i didn't know how much it actually increases it. Got home, checked my GPA and it was OMG! Fantastic. From 2.52 to 3.60. I was so jubilant when i saw that!
BUT! Then my eyes were hesitating to see the CGPA. But it got there somehow. Very disappointingly, it doesn't pull up that much. It's still below 3.0. Why is this so? I'm suppose to be celebrating my day with a good result and I've always wanted to get several As. I've got it, but I'M STILL FRUSTRATED for the fact that the CGPA is still very low!
Urgh! I've no idea how much a supp paper can bring down your GPA that much and that it is super tedious to bring it up again no matter how well you do. Why why why why why?
I really really wish i could just tell my mum about this, but she don't understand how the current education system's like. Neither my parents know. Obviously i can share it with Firdaus, but i really don't think he understands that much. I want to cry out so badly. I want to just say everything to someone, a friend? My mum? My dad? Or even my sister?
The saddest thing is that my parents never ask me about school, they never seem to be concerned about my results. So what if I just tell them my results, what will they do? What will they really do? I really don't know how much I should put in to show them that I am trying really really hard to make them happy. How much more effort should I put in? How much more should I prove them? How much more should I give in so that I won't feel demoralized being around with my friends who are what it seems like the smart ass in school?