Alhamdullilah. I feel so much better these days. Lesser to worry, lesser thinking. But not only that. I am thankful to Allah for giving the opportunity to my family to start a business. Both Abah and Mama is really working hard. They shed tears and went through hardship for ages and now I could see the happy faces. BUT there is still something which is lacking in my family. I feel that we're not as conservative as what we think we are. Oh wait, not conservative, but not following Allah's order, is that what it's suppose to be? I don't know. I really can't question because it is up to them to open their heart and minds. I can't say exactly who should, even I'm not.
I still admire girls who wear hijab. They just look elegant and I could see the calmness in them. Or maybe I shouldn't say, cause I can't judge. Some people may just cover their body but what's in their heart, can be really ugly. On the contrary, you can't judge someone who doesn't wear a hijab and that she is full of sins. Well there is a reason for such thing called 'turning over a new leaf' or what we call, 'taubat'.
I am really disappointed in myself and it's really a disgrace that I am not able to read arabic words or read the Quran. It's very sad. I remembered clearly Mama wanted to bring me to the masjid (mosque) to continue ngaji, but it didn't happen. Well, what I can say is that, you don't have to wait for someone to bring you there, go yourself. I really prayed everyday that my love ones will be able to open their heart to Allah s.w.t.
I'm afraid of what they said, "IT'S TOO LATE" and people always said, "IT'S NEVER TOO LATE". I don't believe so. Look at how fast time flies. Look at how things change. Look at your surroundings. Look at the people. See the transition, a huge one. How far can we go? We don't have time any more. We need to start realise and reflect cos there is never a second chance.
I just want my family to have the spirit to pray together as a family, recite prayers together, go to the mosque together and I'm pretty sure these will make our hearts and mind in a peaceful state that we have yet to discover and just have Him on our mind. Insya'allah. Insya'allah one day this will happen.
Last but not least, I really really envy people who can recite arabic words, who can read Quran, who can preach about our religion. As for me, although I can't do any of that, I just love to listen. It could totally clear every single problem that's in my head and all the worries that I felt in my heart.
I can't wait to start fasting again.
Hadith of the day:
If you have the money you can buy anything on earth but do you think you have enough money to by yourself a place in jannah?