You heard her story, you see her countenance, but you don't know the inner truth. Her views, her say, she limits it all 'cos there's always secrets to life.

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Was it Karma?

I guess that's the end. Not sure...I'm so SORRY. Yea,i know it, that's all I can say. That's your decision, not mine. I never mean to say things which eventually turn things upside down. I can't deny that I'm the cause for this. I admit it. It was my bad. Sorry didn't mean a thing to you. I know how you feel. I can't change what you've decided, but I'm begging you, please don't go. I guess begging won't do too. I feel like I'm one desperate gurl here. Whom some people think I'm stupid. But i don't give a damn. I want to chase it back, y? Cos you've said it before. I must not give up so easily. That's what I'm doing now. But i'm not sure if i can face it all. Why am i doing this?? Why was i so damn emotional and got triggered by something which i missunderstood??? Damn!!!!! Am i born to be like this? Someone who's so emotional and jump to conclusion that easily?? Argh!! Just forget it la..

Life has been really tough for me. I've gone it through alot in the past. I've got different kind of experience. But i'm effin' tired of this. Why am I going through it over and over again. It's like repetition! Firstly, I got bastard by some bloody guy whom i trusted so much, with his kidney problem and stuffs. End up, got bastard by him. Trusted and care for him so much with his sickness.. Blah blah blah.. BULL SHIT LA...ASS ***!!!... Then now?? Haiiz.. I just can't explain it....

I'm not that kind of person where people can take advantage of. Alot of people did. But you didn't. It was good. Thanks! But somehow things just went wrong because of all my stupid thoughts. I now realised small things like this can ruin the whole relationship. You were right, love will eventually lead to hatred. But it will never happen if u really love the person. Guess i wasn't the one. But thought you were the one. Life won't be that easy for me now. But, it has given me a lesson. Well-taught by you. Thank you. You can hate me all you one. But I will never hold grudges on you. That's just not me. Well, i guess these things happen because you wanted too. I don't know la. I deserve this. See!!! I know things like this will happen. What do you call it?? KARMA!!!?????? Yea, i guess..cos i've asked you once before. It happened last time, because of me. Now, you're the one who decide on it. It's KARMA isn't it?? Totally!!

I gotta move on and be who i am. Just gonna prove to some people(not you!) who looked down on me and prove to somone that i'm strong enough to overcome all this and will never give up. I can just say. "Oh, i just can't take it anymore." or "Oh! I just feel like giving up!!" These sentences can just be said, but that doesn't mean i'm a person who gives up easily. I just respect people's decision, that's all. Kind enough..but what do people think of me?? That bloody bastard guy also looked down on me..why?? Never mind!! It's okay. I don't give a fucking care about it cos, i know i can!

Trust is one thing which cannot be played.



There's a saying that life's like a journey. When you come to a bridge, you must cross it.

Cinta itu buta. Bila hati dah suka, tak kisah tentang hal yang lain.

If it fades, hatred will come. Promises willl be broken. Things will end.

Promises are meant to be broken. Believe it. But i just wonder, if it is meant to be that way, why is there such a word?????

Supercalafragilisticexpedicious. I remembered this word you've created. That will be my reminiscence. There's more. I'm really sorry for everything. I really hoping that you will change your decision. Take care. And good luck for your studies.

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